Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
