Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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