I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
