You work out of a Hotel?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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