It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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