I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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