how can u be prego again
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
