hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
