How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
