just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
