i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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