I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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