I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He passed out mid-signature
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
