I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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