i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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