ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
