look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
