Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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