You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
