Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
false alarm. still invincible.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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