We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
