who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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