At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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