i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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