No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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