they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
my being single is dangerous.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
