I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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