I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
