I want to have your abortion
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Bring me that man meat
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
