she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
