so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
