But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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