like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
