Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
