shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
