...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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