After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
