I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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