I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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