Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
