I can't breathe out the right side of my face
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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