Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
