guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
