Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
