arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
