CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
