This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
