Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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