I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
