I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
